"If you've got the wit, you can make anything into a melody, ultimately." Gerry Mulligan

Peter works in a supermarket. A man came in and asked Peter for half a kg of butter. Peter told him they only sold 1 kg packets of butter. Peter said he'd go ask his manager what to do.

Peter walked into the back room and said, "There's a bloody fellow out there who wants to buy only half a kilo of butter."

As he finished saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half."

The manager finished the deal and later said to Peter, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. I like it a lot. Where are you from?"

Peter replied, "I'm from Mexico". "Oh really? Why did you leave Mexico ?" asked the manager. Peter replied, "They're all just prostitutes and soccer players up there." "My wife is from Mexico," the manager said.

Peter replied, "Which team did she play for?"

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